When her mask fell
by EliMiwa
Summary: Adrian is dating Juan, but it's only for Celeste's sake. She doesn't love him and fakes everything, convinced he is doing the same anyway. But for a night, the masks fall as she wakes up besides him in a major panic attack. Comfort ensues.


There were this something about her that he didn't catch. Something in her that looked so easy to break. And a look in her eyes that he couldn't read. She was constantly changing masks, and often, Juan didn't know which one was the real Adrian was what she aimed for. She didn't wanted him to know what she was here for. How every part of her just hated him for letting her die.

She was only here for Celeste.

Anyway, when he told her he loved her, he was probably lying too. It couldn't be true. She just couldn't picture that. He just wanted to use her to plot against Matt ! They were using each other for different purposes.

Lying next to him, she could hear he was already sleeping. She was used to this ; she usually remained completely awake all nights. Sometimes, she even got up and did something else, then came back to bed on the morning before he had already woken up... But this time, for once, she was feeling drowsy, and it didn't took so much time for her to fall asleep...

Flashes of light. No... No... it... it couldn't be.. She couldn't have... Flashes. Her hands were shaking, her whole body was shaking... She couldn't see anything anymore.

….

Lying on the floor, Adrian woke up in complete panick.

"Adrian... Adrian, you fainted... Come on, I'm sorry, I know it's pretty hard... ." Juan said as he was helping her to sit up. Nothing seemed real anymore.  
>"S-She can't.."<br>"She is dead, Adrian."

Silence. Everything was hard to do now. It was hard to breathe, it was hard to talk, it was hard to look at him. It seemed so easier telling herself that he was lying. But what would he lie ? She felt the pain in her chest again, and it felt like she had some kind of fever, too. She felt the tears on her cheeks. She felt them, but she was actually looking at herself in the distance. She looked at herself telling Juan to leave, she felt it was getting even harder to breathe and she heard her cries muffled in her pillow.

She woke up with a jump and sat up, burying her face in her hands. This again... That wasn't even a dream, that was a memory, and it made her feel even worse. She was trying to get her respiration back, but she couldn't even stop sobbing. She had to calm down, she had to calm down... But she couldn't, and she could hear Juan waking up.

"What..."

It took a little time for him to be completely awaken, and that's when he noticed Adrian's sobbing. She tried to hide her face in her hands, but he could hear her having trouble to breathe.

"Chica... Adrian.. ! Adrian.. Calm down, come on."

He pulled her into a hug, but she immediately pushed him back.

"Go away..." she whispered, but it sounded like something she was actually telling to herself. He didn't mind ; The poor sweetie was having quite a panick attack. She probably wasn't even actually seeing him. She was trapped into her own thoughts already, she wasn't here with him.

"Hey..." he whispered. He didn't know what to do to help her. Obviously, he had to be pretty gentle right now. She looked so scared. Her eyes... He had heard her crying at night sometimes, but not that much. He never had seen her so fragile, so much... in pain.

"You're still pretty hurt, I see."

There was some softness in his voice she didn't know about. At the moment, she was too scared to answer anything. She couldn't breathe, she felt her heart beating so fast, and her chest hurting. And there were still the thoughts about Celeste that made her feel even worse ; Always the same. Why didn't she tell me ? Why did she had to leave ? Why ? The guilt, too. She should have been there before it happened, she should have prevented her from killing herself, instead of always relying on her, she should have taken care of her...

While she was more and more disconnecting, a voice brought her back to reality.

"Adrian."

Gently, he took her hand. She didn't stop him. And after a minute or two, he tried hugging her again. She hadn't any force to resist anyway. Her body felt so tensed.

"Shh.. It's gonna be alright. I'm sorry. It will be okay."

For some minutes, he kept repeating her the same things, just for her to hear his voice, to stay in the real world. That seemed to work, because she started calming down. Her respiration was becoming almost normal, though he could hear she was still crying.

"Stay here, I'm gonna get you a glass of water."

Adrian was ashamed that she had to show that side of her. But at the same time, and that was the weird thing, she almost felt glad that Juan was there. That.. no. She was just glad someone was there. Right ? She just needed a physical presence ; who didn't, during a panick attack ? That was only this.

… Probably.

She hated him, after all. But she had to admit ; it was getting hard to hate him as much as she used to. He came back, patted her on the shoulder.

"Adrian."  
>"...What ?"<br>"... You know... Instead of keeping all of this to yourself.. You can talk to me."  
>"... I don't want to talk."<br>"It's Celeste, right ?"

She didn't answer, but she looked at him straight into the eyes -she didn't do that often, he had noticed-, and that was more meaningful than any answer. He could see her sadness. Something was so fragile, so broken in that look. But... that was more surprising, she also seemed angry. At him ?

No, he probably imagined that.

He stroked her hair, gently.

"Do you think you will be able to sleep now ?"  
>"I'm not sure."<br>"I can stay up with you."  
>"Why ? Why would you do that ?"<br>"Do you even realize how I freaked out just now ? I can't let you on your own now."  
>"... But..."<p>

Why did he have to do that much ? She wasn't even with... He didn't even love her, and she didn't love him either, and he was being so nice that she was started to feel bad for being like that. There was that little voice in her head, telling her that maybe she shouldn't be doing that she was doing, that maybe it was not right.  
>He noticed that she was getting lost in her thoughts again.<p>

"Adrian ?"  
>"...A-Ah, yes."<br>"Come on, let's watch a dvd."

She shrugged. Why not. Anything that could distract her was good at the moment.  
>They chose some random movie Adrian hadn't watched yet. It was not a really good one, but it didn't matter, because Adrian fell asleep after ten minutes. She was so exhausted. Juan stayed up all night, just in case.<p>

He wasn't sure he loved her either... But he did felt something. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her. He didn't want to see Celeste's story repeated.

He wanted to protect her.


End file.
